THE STORY OF GOD

BY-BINDESWAR SAHA

 

The question of the identity of God is as ambiguous to you as it is to me. Yet countless people go to the Earth’s end to search for him, only to be returned empty-handed. I never had this problem of understanding God or rather the concept related to this highlighted figure.

My first encounter with this omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent Existence-behind whom great battles were fought and on whose name countless innocents were slain-was at a simple temple, on a simple day. I was asked by my mother to kneel down before a juggernaut statue- with elegant designs and bright, big eyes- fold my palms and close my eyes. In those innocent days of my childhood, I knelt down for two reasons- when I need to spare some punishment on breaking a flower vase and second, outside of the class by the door at school.

Back then the introduction of God made no significance to me as much as it did that day. I accepted him the way my parents wanted me to. As a sheer force of supreme power, always there for me- to jot down my nuisances in his book of infinity pages called “The Book of Karma”.

However, my curiosity about His existence was ignited in a history class. Among the glory and the befalling of empires, the bloodshed of the crusaders and the Mughals, and the lost city of Atlantis- our teacher was too swayed with his spirituality to implant in our empty minds a seed of curiosity that would nurture itself till I embrace my grave.

“Who is God,” he asked the class in one of his lectures on the ancient temples of South India. The origin of this question dates back to the early Stone Age era when our ancestors blindly believed in the elementals. It lived through the ages with no answer existing to date. Time seems to fail in consuming this mystery. The question to which great scholars staggered to answer, to which theologies refer to the ancient text and leave the rest in presumption, and to which science itself questions His existence- what would a seventh grade class of fifty students answer?

A wave of whisper ran through the class and there were too many bobbing and nodding of heads. When discussed, it was revealed that most of them had a similar thought. Mostly, the students spoke about the great people of the millennium. If God created life, then he should also be the One to flourish and nurture it. But the commoner believed doctors are the ones who save human lives, so by default many students claimed them to be God. While many deemed prominent figures such as Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, and people of the similar gentry to be God because of their extraordinary life and limitless humanitarian acts and on the top, their portrayal by the rest of the world makes them too great to be a God by default. As others drew up their conclusion, I was perplexed by the question. If God was a person, why do we materialize Him and say that He is everywhere? From the cosmic powers of the Universe to a small pencil, He is everywhere! But still, we manifest Him as in a humanoid figure. When sir asked me to deliver my opinion on the subject, I was too baffled to say anything and ended uttering, “My parents made me believe in God and in his divine powers without any necessary explanation about his identity”.It was rather an attempt to escape than to address the subject. Throughout the day, the question remained dangling on my mind. But eventually, it led its way out.

Belonging to a country with the largest number of worshippers, religious speculations are abundant and my parents were no less. On the occasion of the success of my father’s company, he decided to thank God for his fortunes by paying a visit to the temple at Varanasi. By the end of the week, we prepared to depart for Varanasi. On reaching upon, we drove to the hotel Ocean View at Assighats. The hotel overlooked the sprawling ghats by the river Ganges and the cremation grounds. It gave an overview of the several temples. That same night, the day we reached Varanasi, I made an entry in my personal diary:

 

September 22, 2016
The view of the holiness of the place fills my heart with an unusual aura. The spirit of the people living here as sages and fakirs hold pride in having connection to the Divine power. With ease they worship the Holy Spirit, dancing with lamps ablaze brightly, flauntingly chanting mantra amidst the dense fume of camphor and incense sticks, wearing just enough clothes to cover their shame, possessed by an eternal inner peace, makes me wonder what great joy they receive by faithfully emaciating their youth into the service of an invisible entity of divinity. If Varanasi is the land of Gods, does it mean he lives here, among his creations and celebrate his own mastery of the art of crafting souls?

In the cold of the evening, the burning of the pyres in the distant cremation ground caught my inner eye. Each day hundreds of dead bodies are burnt and their souls get redemption at the very edge of the River Ganges. Their ashes flow down the sacred river to mark the end of mortal life and set out on the journey towards heaven. Or so do people believe.

The more we dig into religious aspects, the more we are amazed by the emotional bonding people have established with it. When a child is born we celebrate the occasion with tears of joy and when the child, after living a long worthy life, lies upon his funeral to be ablaze for the liberation of his soul, we mourn the occasion with tears of sorrow. In both situations, we manifest God in our mind and thank Him for the wonders of life.

Ironically, a couple of blocks away, hundreds of worshippers were participating in the evening aarti. The atmosphere was pre-occupied with the clinging of the temple bells and dense aroma of camphor, sandalwood, and incense sticks. These are the elements that improvise holiness- the smell of the Gods. Hundreds of diyas, lighted lamps, were sent afloat into the black waters of River The Ganges, like thousands of fireflies skating over the water. The river which carries the wandering souls of the deceased towards Heaven is the same river where hopes of millions are floated to send their prayer to the same destination. Ganga is the river where emotions blend into one to form the invocation of the devotees.

In the early hours of the following day, my family participated in the Ganga arati and took part in the morning devotion of the idol in the temple. It wasn’t crowded as I thought it would be which made me feel comfortable. Looking at the flame of the diya, it made me wonder-

How amazing is fire! It melts the body and liberates the soul, destroys everything, yet we worship fire as an integrated part of the Divinity. The warmth of the Gods!

I isolated myself and roamed the banks of the river, watching the people dipping inside the cold water and chanting mantras. In my venture I found a saint meditating deeply on a rock near the water surface. I climbed down the stairs carefully and stood a few feet away from him with my eyes towards the holy water of Ganges. The Elixir of Purity.

I couldn’t abstain myself from thinking, since childhood I have been praying to a person whose existence remains oblivion for centuries!

“He exists…” an unknown voice hit my ears. Momentarily, I looked at the saint who spoke to me. With a puzzled expression, I asked, “Who exists?”

“God,” he replied.

“How do you know I’m thinking about him?”

He smiled and slowly opened his eyes and looked up in the sky. I followed him. The azure sky was filled with clouds drifted by the breeze. The bright rays of the sun, restrained by the clouds, alighted them brighter and a huge circular halo emerged onto the sky.

“People come here not only to wash away their sins or celebrate their deeds but also to find answers to the question that troubles you,” the saint said. I wasn’t seeking for an answer. My purpose for visitation of Varanasi was a mere religious pilgrimage for a better life. But now I discovered a greater purpose. Curiosity and life go hand-in-hand. Whenever you are curious, life takes you on an adventure to quench your thirst. And when you lose interest in life, curiosity comes in to give you a purpose.

“If I would have come here to find God, where should I find him?” I asked, staring blankly at the huge halo upon the sky.

The saint smiled, “He is everywhere. He isn’t a person nor an abstract form of some energy, as you explain in science”.

He continued, “It’s the reason why we question our faith in God; it drives us towards worldly pleasures instead of transcendental peace”

So was it indeed; with no great possessions man is free from all bounds like those sadhus in loincloth, dancing to the music of Gods.

“If he is like air, doesn’t he supposed to be felt? How do I know He is with me?”

“God is the person living within us. He provides the dynamicity in our life”.

“How do we know he lives within us?”

“Prayer, my son. Prayer! The distress of not being worthy has put us into a labyrinth of sadness. Every direction leads nowhere. It is so because we easily lose faith in ourselves and hold us at lower esteem than what we deserve to be. But when we pray we deliver our worries to the Almighty. Through prayer, we connect to the Universe and resign our fate to Him. With the relief of someone being beside us, tempts us to move on in life, bearing a ray of hope in our minds and thoughts. Prayer heralds the coming of fortune and removes the blindfold of hatred, anxiety, fear, and anger.”

I felt the truth in his words. Praying comforts us. In the strong currents of the river of life, it acts as an anchor and helps to soothe the racing mind. The feeling of being possessed by a Divine spirit; the sheer comfort we feel on being honest to someone without having the fear of losing them or having our feelings being misinterpreted. I realized then why praying made me stronger as a kid.

“But if God resides within us, why people say he is omnipresent?”

“He is omnipresent, my son. We do not realize it until we look for him,” he looked across the river, glimmering with rays of the young Sun. “When you look at the sun at dawn, the tranquil rays touching me, making you golden and pure, that ray is God! Every happy moment we live, we reminisce, leave a curve on the lips, that moment is God! The atomic cells in our body which constitute us, heal us, and strengthen us, that micro-particle is God! The positivity that surrounds you and makes you feel better, that positivity is God! God exists everywhere but our way of approaching Him differs…”

“Brijan, Where are you!” The exuberant shout of my father took me by surprise.

I turned back, “Yes baba!”

I began to climb the stairs when I felt an urgent need to thank the saint and at the same time felt guilty for not taking proper leave. I turned back to greet him but there was no one! The huge rock was gone and so was the saint.